Twas the night before Christmas,

For short, Christmas Eve.

And I wish my in-laws would just fucking leave.

My “dad” is a sadist, he’s prodding the cat

With a fork and a spoon and a new baseball bat!

The bat was a present I bought for the kid.

The bastard unwrapped it and thinks that it’s his!

He’s got my ass googling “how to hide a body”

Now Santa will skip me for being so naughty!