I write a lot of this stuff on Twitter and then think better of wasting it on there where no one will see me because rather than suspend accounts they don’t want to have a voice they just suppress them now. So it’s exclusively yours—the most deserving audience.

I love to wrestle crocodiles
In my own spare time.
Mostly for the thrill of it.
And cause it’s fun to rhyme
Crocodile with cocker spaniel.
Did that even work?
Who cares?
Artistic liberty
I’m not being a jerk.