My dad is really worried I’m depressed.
He thinks I’m going to be suicidal.
But if God wanted me dead, I’d be dead.
But here I am to offer this recital.
I don’t want to feel sorry for myself.
It’s really hard not to when you hurt.
I’m trying to train my brain to avoid fear.
But the pain comes on, and fear erupts in spurts.
I wish someone could tell me what to do.
“This will get you out of all this pain.”
I’m just so sick of being miserable.
The levels to which are impossible to explain.