I do not know what is happening right now but I’ve preserved a lot of things on the internet instead of paper that might just disappear whenever. I always thought about that but it was easier.

I don’t want to say too much because I’ve said too much already and it sounds a lot like paranoia, but here’s the thing: I have never been less suicidal in my life. I am hopeful for everyone. We are all going to make it. Some moments I get terrified. I started writing this because I was terrified. We’ll heal that. We’ll do it together. I don’t know how yet but we have to walk in faith.

You know the greatest wisdom is knowing that you actually know nothing and you never did. And when that’s true people can gaslight you into thinking you’re doing something wrong or they have any right to medicate you or whatever. They do not. You have to consent to that unless you’ve hurt someone. So think about that.

I took a medication for I don’t know how long that kept me bound to a bed. Whatever. Who cares. Onward and forward. Someone is trying to convince me I have a righteous cause. Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. Maybe my role is just to stand up to bullies who try to take things that aren’t theirs. I do not know. Again, i started this pointing out I know nothing. But that is knowledge.

People will gaslight you and tell you your lived reality isn’t real. I don’t know why but they will. Stand in your truth. It will be difficult.

When you are on a spiritual path and all of us are, there will be a point where it will feel like the entire world is aiming for you so you have to remind yourslef of something. Because a lot of times it might look suddenly like the world needs saving and only you can do it. You are only here to save you ultimately. Just be. Are you safe? Will you be safe in a minute? Be.

Sometimes just being is the toughest battle you face. But that’s okay because it’s just a moment and moments pass. And I love you. It will be scary whatever you have to overcome. It will be difficult because it is supposed to be. Do it anyway. People will tell you not to. Do it anyway.

When you rech this point in your path things will appear to you in patterns that you experienced in your life that are undeniably pre-planned. And that will sound strange to anyone who hasn’t lived it.

So what I had to learn and what I have, is that right now I am safe. And my safety is the only thing I have to secure. So I’ve done so much today. And so have you.